Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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