Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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