you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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