You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I would fuck him just for his dog
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
