i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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