omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
