Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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