Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
