Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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