she was so not down for the gang bang
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
