I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
