I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
