The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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