I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
