i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
