so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
