sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize