Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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