im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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