I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize