i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
