literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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