Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
