I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
