Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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