how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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