dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize