Grow some girl-balls and come out already
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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