we'll go far in life on tits alone.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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