When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
