Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
