Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I supernannyed him into submission
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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