I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize