After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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