...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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