the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I would ride that face into the sunset
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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