let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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