Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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