umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize