we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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