just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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