Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
