this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
