just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
