oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
