I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Randomize
