New invention idea: vibrating tampons
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I will be naked everywhere
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
