I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize