I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
