This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
