google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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