Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
