apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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