butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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