I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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