dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
