i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Drunk walkin through police station. America
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize