are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
