idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
