there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
