my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize