So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
