so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
