$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
